The Land of Dolce and Gabbana, Dishy Men and More Delicious Carbs Than I Should Ever Consume.

I was seriously procrastinating writing a piece for my current magazine gig so I decided to “research” all that was needed to prepare for my 5 month stay in Italy at the start of next year. Reading through visa information, descriptions of the supposed culture clash (even though I think I’ll do quite fine with delicious food and wine, art, and general wonderfulness that the country will throw my way) and then finally packing suggestions, even though I am nowhere close to that point I read through them anyway. Then, I stumbled across something seriously disturbing. And I quote:

“We recommend bringing only 2 pairs of shoes.”

…Um, WHAT?!

Now that is just ridiculous. Sending anyone to ITALY, the fashion Mecca, with 2 pairs of shoes is just terrible guidance. Even for those granola types, they’d need at least 2 pairs of TIVAS one for tromping around, one for back up, and some cold weather shoes (because I don’t think socks and tivas will cut it, it will be winter after all). That’s 1,2, oh no 3.

Then there are the rest of us: Cute boots of different colors and lengths, heels, flats and sandals for spring. All essential. That doesn’t even include my metallic oxfords or shower flip flops. And I don’t even feel like I’m being terribly materialistic here. Part of me thought this was merely a ploy to force us to spend our money supporting the fashion industry in Italy. But it got worse…

“Remember not to buy too much. You will have to fit it in the same suitcases you arrived with.”

No shopping in Italy? Who are these people, and what have I gotten myself into? Forget learning how to write about food and wine and studying fashion, shopping is the real reason behind this life choice to move to a country where I cannot utter one word past “Gucci” in the native language.

If I can’t communicate, I better at least look the part. It’s a good thing I am looking at these rules more as guidelines. Otherwise I’d be in serious trouble.